Facing up to reality

Now this may come as a surprise to some and not to many who know me - but most of my life I've thought I know best and my way is of course the right way............. I don't mean that in a cocksure type of way, or even bragging, but I've always had a more than reasonable amount of confidence. 

Often I've been like a confident swan gliding along in life but an anxious little duckling under the surface, however, I always made sure the swan was the one who won. 

I thought I knew all about my Asthma and what was right for it and that the Xolair injections were my golden ticket to a 'normal' life.............. wrong!! 

So with a missed Caribbean holiday under my belt, another long weeks stay in hospital and a good 6 weeks recuperation it was time to make some decisions about my future health care. 

I firmly believed that I needed more experienced help from a tertiary Asthma Centre, I was miffed my old wonderful Consultant had left, no one else could possibly understand me - in other words folks I was in the grip of self pity and delusion! 

So on a normal visit to my Asthma clinic and a chat with my lovely nurse Kate I was told that my new consultant could see me if I cared to stay around after the injection. He wanted to catch up with me and see how I was doing.                                      

Hurrumph, ok was my response quite sure it would turn out to be a waste of time as my mind was made up! (Ungrateful bugger aren't I)   

Walking out of the hospital some 2 hours later I sat in my car and realised I was sobbing, not because he had told me anything particularly awful or indeed anything I didn't really know, but it was the stark reality of even as a life long Asthmatic things had indeed changed with my Asthma (not for the best) and I really had to give it some respect, listen to what PROFESSIONALS were saying.  

I can't play around with the medication willy nilly, I also have to give some thought to the fact that all these exacerbation's over the last couple of years have now given me some other health issues. An absolute bastard but I can't close my eyes to it any longer. 

So I did what I always do - I sulked for a few days thinking how unfair life is............... grown up aren't I?? 

Then I decided to do something I've rarely done - I listened and decided to do what had been suggested!! Medicines taken regularly (even when I feel fantastic), a change of diet, a bit more exercise and guess what - I actually quite like my new consultant!!

Is it working - don't know? But I won't ever want it said I've not listened or tried.......👍